"He that shall lose his life for me shall find it.
"If thou wilt be perfect...
"go sell what thou hast and give to the poor...
"and come follow me."
Each sister shall understand that on entering the convent...
she has made the sacrifice of her life to God.
Well, are we off?
- Whenever you're ready, Father. - Let's not wait for that.
Your hat's on crooked.
I tried to put it on without a mirror to get used to...
There.
Marie didn't want to say goodbye. And I'd rather not see Louise.
She'll be so upset and...
There's no chance. I'll wait outside.
Now, Louise, I left some things upstairs for you and Marie.
Divide the dresses, but you keep the blue ones because blue is your color.
Take good care of Father.
And don't let him do too many operations in one day.
Why do you have to go, anyway?
Pierre.
Come along, Gaby, I ordered the table for 1:00.
I wish you all as happy as I am.
Gaby, I can see you poor, I can see you chaste.
But I cannot see you, a strong-willed girl, obedient to those bells.
In the Congo, Father, they'll be calling me to work I love.
You may never get to the Congo. You certainly can never ask for it.
You know that, don't you?
Your personal wishes cease to exist when you enter that door.
Maybe it would be easier if I went in alone, Father.
You're not an orphan. Or going without your father's consent.
Please remember this, Gaby.
Remember, if you ever decide this is not right for you...
there is no sense of failure in coming back home.
Sister William.
- Dr. Van der Mal? - Yes?
My name's Pascin. You operated on me five years ago.
- Oh, yes. Left lung, wasn't it? - No, the right.
- May I present my daughter, Simone? - And my daughter, Gabrielle.
A great day.
- Dr. Van der Mal? - Sister.
I am Sister Margarita, Mistress of Postulants.
Welcome.
Of course you know Sister William from the hospital.
Sister William and I have shared many an anxious hour.
Sister William says Gabrielle will be a truly great nurse.
I know you are largely responsible for that.
- I'll miss her in my laboratory. - We'll put her to good use in ours.
Real spirit, I think.
Well, we call it stubbornness. You may, too, after a few weeks.
We'll be going in shortly.
- Good afternoon, Doctor. - Good afternoon, Sister.
I suppose Sister Margarita is what they call a living rule.
What's that?
They say if the holy rule of a convent were destroyed...
it could be recaptured by studying the behavior of such a perfect nun.
- Doctor. - Sister.
The dowry, I think, Father.
Oh, yes, of course.
Thank you, Doctor.
Goodbye, Father. I'll miss you.
I'll do my best.
I want you to be proud of me.
I don't want to be proud of you. I want you to be happy.
I am happy.
Gabrielle, your number is 1,072.
Thank you, Sister.
You are blessed to have this number.
It belonged to Sister Marie Polycarpe. She was a nursing sister in the Congo.
When you have your things, you will form two columns and face the door.
From now on, your place in line...
is determined by your age in this community.
The first admitted is the oldest.
That is Yvonne Duval.
Here.
Yvonne Duval. Henrietta de la Croix.
Simone Pascin. Cecile de Planer.
Gabrielle Van der Mal.
Helen de Rode.
Your hands must learn to stay still. And out of sight.
Except when they're needed for nursing or prayer.
I'm so glad you're here, Sister William.
When you go through that door, I'm not here.
For the six months that you're a postulant...
and the year as a novice...
we may not speak to each other except in matters of work.
I didn't know.
Do not fret about your veils.
You will soon learn to dress without mirrors.
As you will learn tomorrow when we start studying the Holy Rule...
which governs our life here in the community...
one of the first conditions is the rule of silence.
Exterior and interior silence.
We observe the Grand Silence from after chapel at night...
until after chapel in the morning.
We will go now into chapel for evening prayers.
Dear children, you will have five days of instruction and preparation...
before you are formally admitted as postulants by the Superior General.
We constantly strive toward perfection by inner silence.
The ultimate goal of this silence...
is to make possible constant conversation with God.
Therefore, we do not talk loudly...
nor do we engage in useless conversations.
We close doors quietly.
Whenever possible, we use a kind of sign language.
This means, "May I have permission to speak?"
This means, "Excuse me."
Shall we try it?
We do this to attract a sister's attention.
Just the sleeve.
We never touch another sister, of course.
We use signs, particularly during meals.
We, of course, never ask for things for ourselves.
Each sister is alert to the needs of her fellow sisters.
In walking, dear children, we never saunter...
as though we had no place to go. Nor do we hurry.
When we walk through halls and corridors...
we practice humility by walking close to the walls.
Now.
Tomorrow, in the chapter hall...
the Superior General will admit you formally into the congregation.
And you will begin your six months' terms as postulants.
The Reverend Mother Emmanuel represents Christ among us.
And as such she is loved and obeyed by us.
What do you ask, my children?
To be admitted into this congregation.
Arise in the name of God.
Dear children, it is not easy to be a nun.
It is not a life of refuge from the world.
It is a life of sacrifice.
In a way, it is a life against nature.
It is a never-ending struggle for self-perfection.
Some of you will have more trouble than others.
Poverty, chastity, and obedience are extremely difficult.
Each of us here can assure you of that.
The sacrifices that are required of us are bearable...
only if we make them with love.
Just as in the world we can do impossible things...
with a glad heart for a loved one...
so it is with us.
We can endure greater sacrifice...
because the object of our love is our Lord Jesus Christ.
In order to come into closer union with our Lord...
you will be submitted to exercises and tests...
which are designed to root out your faults...
curb your passions...
and prepare you for acquiring the virtues and grace.
If you question these exercises in humility...
these steps towards a closer union with our crucified Lord...
you do not belong with us.
Cloistered life is made up of an infinity of small things.
You must try to live the Holy Rule not day by day...
but minute by minute...
in a state of constant alertness against imperfections.
The perfect nun is one who, for the love of God...
is obedient in all things unto death.
Remember, dear children, you can very easily cheat us, your sisters.
But you can never cheat yourself. Or God.
The postulant will learn strict obedience to the bell...
which is the voice of God.
Stopping whatever she is doing instantly...
when it calls to other duty or devotions.
What is served for lunch, do you know?
It doesn't matter. They won't let me eat it, anyway.
Twice each day for the rest of your lives...
you will examine your consciences.
And enter in these notebooks...
each and every imperfection against the Holy Rule.
For example, if you drink a glass of water between meals...
without asking permission.
If you leave a light on unnecessarily.
If you're late for work, and so on.
I accuse myself of breaking the Grand Silence.
I accuse myself of uncharitable thoughts about my sisters.
I accuse myself of having drunk a glass of water between meals without permission.
I accuse myself of failing in modesty of the eyes.
I accuse myself of worldly desires.
I accuse myself of having spoken without necessity.
I accuse myself of laughing during the Grand Silence.
I accuse myself...
I accuse myself of daydreaming.
- I accuse myself... - I accuse myself...
Enter.
Yesterday I visited one of our sisters who is ill in hospital.
And your father was attending her.
He asked about you. And about the Congo.
And the bush station where he thinks you would like to do your nursing.
I told him it was much too soon even to think of it.
Of course, Reverend Mother.
- I... - Well, go ahead.
I just want to become a good nurse and a good nun...
and to do God's work wherever I'm sent.
First become a good nun.
We select only the very strongest sisters for our missions.
Your nursing qualifications would seem to make you a likely candidate.
But you are still very far from being mature in the religious life.
Maturity is the armor of our missionaries.
And this is not achieved in a day.
Since tomorrow is the day of vesture...
when you receive the habit of a novice...
we must talk today about detachment.
You have already detached yourselves from family and friends.
Now we have the difficult detachment from things and memories.
Tonight, when you go to your cells...
you will find parts of your new habit.
And on your tables, the only possessions allowed you from now on.
A basket will be passed.
And you must put in it, of your own free will...
any object you still have...
which might call up memories of your former life.
What do you ask, my daughters?
We ask for the mercy of God.
And for the favor to be received...
into this congregation.
We offer our Lord...
our liberty, our memory, and our will.
And we ask only for His love and His holy grace.
Are you firmly resolved...
to despise the honors, riches...
and all the vain pleasures of this world...
in order to prepare for a closer union with God?
We are so resolved, Monsignor.
Do you make this request of your own free will?
- Yes. - Yes.
May the Lord, who has begun this...
- bring it to perfection. - Amen.
Go, my children...
divest yourselves of the vanity of this world.
And receive for your bodies the habit of humility.
Yvonne Duval will be known as Sister Marie Sebastian.
Henrietta de la Croix will be known as Sister Marie Bernadette.
Simone Pascin will be known as Sister Marie Christine.
Cecile de Planer will be known as Sister Marie Joseph.
Gabrielle Van der Mal will be known as Sister Luke.
Sister, you make a beautiful nun.
Sister.
You're blushing.
It happened to me, too, in my ward.
We shouldn't blush, I'm sure we shouldn't.
How can we help it?
It must mean some wrong awareness of self.
Must we write it in our notebooks?
I don't know.
Should we write that we talked alone?
I always start it.
Your training as a postulant has been mostly in externals.
Now, as novices, you will be devoting the next year...
to the real formation of a nun.
During that entire year, none of you will leave the Mother House.
We will pay particular attention to the removal of faults...
the control of passions, and the acquiring of virtue...
so that you may be born again in Christ.
We will have exercises to develop charity, forbearance, and humility...
and tests to destroy love of self.
Two of these tests are the culpa and the penance.
From now on, in addition to writing in your notebooks...
you will once a week...
proclaim before your sisters your external faults against the Rule.
And you will be given a penance to perform in refectory or in chapel.
The degree of humiliation will tell you how much pride is still alive in you.
Only as your pride slowly crumble...
will you get the first glimpse of true humility.
If any sister has observed you in an external fault...
which you have not proclaimed...
it is her duty to proclaim you in charity...
so that you may be aware of your errors and correct them.
I say my culpa for speaking without necessity, for being late for chapel...
for letting a door slam without penance.
What do you have to say in charity?
I proclaim my sister for giving in to the temptation of vanity...
by looking at herself in a glass window.
You will say three Hail Marys in refectory...
for the sister who had the charity to proclaim you.
And three Hail Marys for each imperfection.
And pray God to help you to perfect yourself.
Mother, I will try to correct myself with the grace of God.
I say my culpa for breaking the rule of obedience...
by not stopping work when I heard the bell.
For having spilled milk twice in the refectory.
For having spoken without necessity during Grand Silence.
What have you to say in charity?
I proclaim myself and Sister Luke...
for seeking each other's company.
You will ask God to help you to overcome this attachment...
and you will kiss the feet of the nuns and beg your bread in refectory.
Mother, I will try to correct myself with the grace of God.
Dear Lord...
the more I try, the more imperfect I become.
I seem to fail in charity, humility, and obedience.
Pride has not been burned out of me.
When I succeed in obeying the Rule...
I fail at the same time because I have pride in succeeding.
Tomorrow you go on retreat before taking the first vows, don't you?
The Grand Silence doesn't matter for me.
I'm not taking my vows. I'm leaving.
So I can talk without having to say a culpa or do a penance.
Why?
Mother Emmanuel said, "Remember, you can cheat us...
"but you cannot cheat yourself or God."
Well, to go on would be cheating God.
- To be a hypocrite. - We all have our doubts.
- My confessor... - Of course.
But I know myself.
I could never be like you.
As strong as you.
I'm the weakest of us all.
If you were, you would not be taking your vows.
Now I've earned you another penance by talking to you in the Grand Silence.
I'm sorry.
Goodbye.
Pray for me.
"I, Gabrielle Van der Mal, known as Sister Luke...
"promise to God in the presence of Your Grace and our Reverend Mother...
"to obey the Holy Rule of this congregation...
"and to persevere in the life of obedience, chastity, and poverty...
"for the period of three years. Amen."
Sister Luke, this is the discipline for penance in private.
You will use it twice each week at night while you are saying the Miserere.
Remember, it is essentially a symbol of penance.
Too much is as bad as too little.
Don't forget you are only an instrument.
In yourself you are nothing, until you are lifted up.
Tomorrow you will leave for the School of Tropical Medicine in Antwerp.
Excuse me.
Your father's daughter. Excellent.
Excuse me.
Well.
Sister Pauline, how long were you in the Congo?
Seven years.
You worked quite a lot with the lepers, didn't you?
- Yes. - Yes!
Well, that is the bacillus which causes leprosy!
Thank you, Doctor.
I, too, have lost some of my quickness, my memory...
from too much Congo sun.
Too much quinine.
If any of you think that the Congo that you'll find today in 1930...
is anything like the Congo that we found when we went there 20 years ago...
you will be mistaken.
There are now bicycle paths through the brush.
Close that window, somebody, will you? There.
I know you think it's hot. Wait till you've had your share of malaria.
Don't be selfish, Sister Luke, help your sisters.
She was brought up looking through a microscope, you know...
whilst most of you were playing with kaleidoscopes.
Sister Luke, would you help me with this?
That is the bacille de Koch that causes tuberculosis.
- I thought it was the leprosy bacillus. - They are very alike.
Both rod-shaped, both acid-fast...
both with a slight shadow almost like an enclosing capsule.
But if you look very closely...
you'll see that the leprosy bacillus is slightly fatter and longer.
Enter.
I'm in trouble, Reverend Mother.
It's Sister Pauline.
My conscience is not at peace because of my unfriendly feelings towards her.
At the Mother House, we were told to overcome feelings like this...
by trying to help the person.
For five months I've tried to help Sister Pauline in the courses.
She needs help.
But she will not permit friendship...
and so I do not know what to do.
Sister Pauline has already come to me.
The feeling you describe is mutual.
She thinks you are full of pride.
She does not believe that you can ever achieve humility.
I'm ashamed, My Mother, for her and for me.
All this sounds very childish when you tell it.
Her dislike, I believe, is based on fear.
She worries that she will not be able to pass the examination.
Or if she does, that she will be far below you in grade.
This could easily mean that she could not return to the Congo.
You have been given a truly great opportunity to make a sacrifice for God.
You asked what you might do?
Would you, Sister Luke...
be able to fail your examination to show humility?
My Mother...
I would be willing if the Mother House knows of this and approves.
Then it would be a humility with hooks, as we say.
A humility that takes something back for the sacrifice.
In this case, the satisfaction of knowing that the Mother House knows.
- Courage needs witnesses. - Yes.
Real humility, on the other hand...
passes unperceived between God and the soul.
You have heard our phrase, "Do good and disappear."
How do we know when we are humble?
When we can accept a real humiliation.
Such as this failure.
How can I know God wants this from me?
Go and ask Him.
But remember, you are weighing an opportunity that may never come again.
Out of His eternal time...
God chooses His moment to offer the most perfect alliance...
with each individual soul.
- Good morning, Sister Luke. - Good morning, Doctor.
I promised I would call your father immediately after the examination.
I shall defer to my eminent colleagues for the first question.
Sister, the board would like to hear from you...
in what parts of the tsetse fly will the trypanosomes be found.
You may take your time with this question, Sister.
We have been working on them since the 1880s.
They will be found in the...
Perhaps you'd like the question repeated?
In the tsetse fly, the trypanosomes will be found...
in the gut, mouth parts, and salivary glands...
in all of which sites they multiply.
We would like to hear a résumé of the special clinical types of pernicious...
as differentiated from chronic or latent malaria.
Cerebral, algid, bilious remittent fever, blackwater fever...
and bronchopneumonic form.
I have good news.
All four of our sisters have passed their examinations.
Sister Pauline will return to the Congo.
Sisters Timothy and Ellen...
will go to the Congo, too.
Sister Luke will leave tomorrow morning...
to join the nursing staff of our mental sanatorium near Brussels.
Perhaps Reverend Mother feels you are not yet ready for the Congo.
You must learn to accept with love whatever comes to you.
It is essential in religious life.
You passed fourth in a class of 80.
Everything they do is to be accepted as normal.
Sister Agnes, Sister Luke.
Good morning, Mother Christoph.
Our practical nurses stand a four-hour shift.
Our sisters take unlimited duty, sometimes from eight to 10 hours.
These are the cells for our most dangerous patients.
We try to approach even our most dangerous cases...
with gentle and persuasive reasoning.
Sister Berthold, this is Sister Luke, who is to be with us for a while.
- Sister Berthold. - Sister Luke.
This one thinks that she is the Archangel Gabriel.
So we call her that.
Good afternoon, Archangel.
She's a schizophrenic and very dangerous.
She has perfectly sane periods when she talks intelligently about her farm.
A sister is forbidden to open the door of any of these cells...
unless there is another sister with her. Or a practical helper.
One ought to be able to get through to someone like her.
- Hello. - Hello, Archangel.
This is the room where we give the treatment for the violent cases.
We keep them four to eight hours in baths...
maintained at a constant temperature.
The sound that you hear are their heels...
beating up and down against the tubs.
Sister Marie is on duty.
She generally remains there from eight to 10 hours at a time.
Sister Luke.
It isn't one of my pleasantest duties...
opening and reading other people's letters, but...
sometimes it does allow me to help them.
As you see, your father asks an angry question.
Why should you waste all these months of your time here...
after your strenuous courses in tropical medicine?
I must apologize for my father.
Your father's a very great man.
But I don't think he understands...
that the colonies are only for sisters perfected in the religious life.
He asks what you could possibly learn in this place.
When I'm permitted to write to him I will tell him what I can learn here:
Obedience.
Perhaps that's what Mother Emmanuel had in mind.
That this would make an excellent proving ground.
I shall try.
And I shall try with you...
since your soul is in my care while you are here.
Thank you, Reverend Mother.
- Yes? - I am so thirsty.
May I have a drink of water, please?
A terrible thirst.
The fish was so salty.
Oh, God.
God.
Oh, God.
The Archangel.
Pride. Pride and disobedience.
Always disobedience.
Don't try to talk. I would probably have done the same thing.
I accuse myself also of pride in thinking I could handle the Archangel myself.
I accuse myself of using personal judgment in not ringing the bell for help.
I accuse myself of a sense of heroism.
Mother, in the three days I've been lying in the infirmary...
I have accused myself of almost every possible imperfection...
against the Holy Rule.
They are always such glaring faults.
At the School of Tropical Medicine...
Mother Marcella offered me the chance to show true humility...
- by failing an examination. - I know.
Mother Marcella means well...
but she was very wrong to make that suggestion to you.
My child, I don't underestimate for a moment the seriousness of your faults.
But you mustn't destroy yourself with guilt and remorse.
You must learn to bend a little or you'll break.
Long before I entered the order, I had a rule of my own:
All or nothing.
I want to be a good nun or...
You will be a good nun, Sister Luke.
I thought one would reach some sort of resting place...
where obedience would be natural and struggle would end.
There is no resting place. Ever.
But you must have patience with yourself.
Unhappy saints are lost from the beginning.
Ask for God's help and guidance...
and I know you will make your final vows.
"I, Sister Luke...
"promise to God in the presence of Your Grace and of our Reverend Mother...
"to persevere in the life of obedience...
"chastity, and poverty...
"until death. Amen."
I declare you from today...
the bride of Jesus Christ, Son of Almighty God.
I declare you from today...
the bride of Jesus Christ, Son of Almighty God.
- Mother, pray for me. - My daughter, may God give you peace.
Don't be proud of me, Father.
This is really flight.
It will be so much easier in the Congo to remember I'm nothing.
There will be no worldly associations in a bush station, in the jungle.
Please, God, let me do some good.
Where's Mother Mathilde?
We are very fortunate in Mother Mathilde.
- Mama Augustine. - Kalulu.
- Welcome home, Mama Augustine. - It's good to be back.
Ilunga. This is Sister Luke.
This is Kalulu.
He practically runs the convent.
Sister Augustine. Welcome back.
Welcome.
- This is Sister Aurelie. - Sister.
Sister Luke.
Now, a short boat trip across the Congo and you're home.
And there's the Congo.
Drums tell your arrival, Mama Augustine.
Yours, too, Mama Luke.
What are the drums saying, Kalulu?
Mama Augustine, she can read drums.
Sister Luke...
I thought it might amuse you to know what the drums said about you last night.
The way Kalulu laughed, it must be something very funny.
They said:
"Held hands with Big Mama Mathilde on way back to Sister House...
"therefore esteemed. Talks little, looks much.
"Young enough to bear children."
We call her the Novice.
But like all little novices, she's still imperfect in discipline.
Come along with me now on my rounds. We'll start with the native hospital.
How we've needed this extra pair of hands.
"Yambo"means hello. But of course you know that.
- You've been studying. - Yes.
- Mama Luke. - Yambo, Mama Luke.
Only one generation ago, their fathers were savages in the forest.
We couldn't run the hospital without them.
You'll notice we haven't converted them all yet.
Some still wear the witch doctor's fetish around their necks.
That is our surgeon, Dr. Fortunati.
He spends half his time here.
The rest of the day he operates in the white hospital.
I'm afraid she's too fast for me...
but nursing them every day, I'll learn.
I see our chaplain, Father Andre, is here.
He is greatly loved.
Even the non-Catholics hold their children up to him...
to be blessed when he passes.
Father Andre...
you have a new soul to look after.
- Sister Luke. - Sister.
- Father. - We're so glad you are here.
We do need another pair of hands.
The barber's been itching to get at that beard for years...
but the natives have a picture of God with a beard...
so priests have to wear beards in the Congo.
No beard, no converts. Excuse me, please.
We're only beginning to persuade them to come to hospital to have their babies.
Not all of them trust us, yet.
Many of them still prefer to deliver themselves in the bush.
They scoop out a hole and that's it.